I just sat down in the chair with my MacBook on my lap to do my nightly installment of homework. I’m nearly finished with a two-year process of earning my master’s degree so this is my typical evening agenda. However, I sometimes get a slow start as I’ll begin by checking my email, or worse yet, logging into Facebook. Tonight, before exegeting this week’s scripture passage, I happened to read an email from one of the churches I’m coaching. It’s like several other emails I’ve read or conversations I’ve had over the last several months.
The conversation typically begins with great intentions and ends with something like, “but what if the group leader (group member, user, church member . . . you fill in the blanks) doesn’t _______.” Typically, if I’m the phone with this individual we get off the topic, and I address the issue without really dealing with the underlying issue . . . fear. Church leaders all around the nation are in denial about it. I hear it disguised behind an excuse that “we can’t implement the church management software this way because they may not . . . “________.” The truth of the matter is that you’re exactly right. Yes, you heard me. They may not. Or they may. They may not do what you want them to. Or they may do what you don’t want them to. So what — what’s the worse thing that can happen? Honestly, we often never get that far because we don’t want to face the reality of that question. If you notice, I’m not saying “they.” I’m saying “we.” Why? Because I’ve been right there. I speak from experience.
I have spent my entire life in the church fearing that those that I was leading may not do what I wanted them to do. As a result of that fear, I was never comfortable with the answer that I may be exactly right about my conclusions. You see, fear is a crazy thing; it causes you to make conclusions that aren’t based on reality. I feared that the individual would somehow threaten my position, my church, or my authority. In reality I was withholding trust from those that God has entrusted to me.
As leaders when we believe (or fear) the worst, we hold those around us prisoner. It’s time for us to free them by believing the best about them. The alternative is control. I’d rather lead by “letting go.” (I wrote about that a few months ago.) Will there be messes and will some people do it “wrong.” Absolutely. I guarantee it. But what’s the worst thing that can happen? And the answer that question will determine whether or not your leadership is motivated by fear.
