I’m a Good Kid — Really I Am

Well, this blog has been awhile in the making. I’ve thought about sitting down and writing this so many times but didn’t quite know what to say or how to say it. Many of you know that a little over a year ago God began to stir something in our hearts to move to Colorado Springs to partner with our good friends in planting a church. January to June of 2012 was filled with anticipation and excitement. Equally impactful was the impending terror that accompanied the thoughts of packing up our family, our lives, and heading west. Those six months were filled with God-ordained stories that paved the way for our move. From divinely orchestrated jobs to the sale of house in a tanked economy, we knew without any doubt, God was leading us here.

Once we arrived in Colorado Springs our lives took a dramatic turn. It wasn’t quite what we had expected, yet God had this planned for us as well. After 21 years of living my adult life in Northwest Indiana and 16 of those in full-time ministry in one place, life came to a screeching halt. There were no more meetings to attend, life groups to teach, or worship to lead. It was just us, the Plotners, a couple of jobs, and the mountains. It was a breath of fresh air. Ministry had given me a full, rich life with so many opportunities, relationships, and stories. Yet it in a matter of days, it all stopped. What I didn’t realize is how much I needed it to stop — at least for awhile.

Without going into all of the details, I realized that God had brought us here for a different reason. He didn’t bring us here to plant a church. He brought us here first to rest. While others back in Indiana were still making preparations to relocate, we were in the process of reprocessing what brought us here. Most people thought the journey to get to Colorado was a huge story of faith. I began to realize that our journey of faith actually began once we arrived.

It was during this time that God began to speak to me and show me much of my past and my history that helped define who I was. Yet in the process of this, he was redefining me. As a kid, I was submissive child. I wanted to please my parents and make them proud. Growing up, I followed the straight and narrow because of my own fear that I may disappoint them. I took that same attitude into my adult life and my work. What I began to realize was that many of the decisions I made as an adult were based upon what I thought were the expectations of others. Whether perceived or real, I made many of my decisions based upon the expectations of others.

So how does this all connect you may ask? I came here knowing that everyone back in Indiana was expecting us to come to Colorado to help plant a church. I knew that my friends that would soon arrive expected me to partner with them to plant a church. My wife and kids expected that we came 1100 miles half way in the middle of the country to plant a church. How could I say that we’re not? Yet, this is what I felt God speaking to me. I heard him telling me to rest — for us to rest. To stop. To wait.

Honestly, it has been one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in my entire life. I’ve had to say “no” to the expectations (most of them perceived and not real) and listen to the voice of my Father. You see, I truly believe that this is the journey that God has me (and my family) on right now. I’m learning that it’s ok to say no. I’m learning that it’s ok to rest.

So where do we go from here? What’s next? Quite honestly, I haven’t a clue. I do know that our family is thriving here in Colorado Springs and that God has us here at this time for this purpose. We are attending New Life Church while fully supporting, encouraging, and loving our friends, the Dyers, as they plant KeyStone. All I can confidently say is that I know God has exactly where he wants us. What tomorrow holds is up to him — not me. I am learning that this really is what faith is all about.

You may have questions, and I may not have answers. Either way, I’d love hear them!