If you’ve been on social media for more than five minutes, you know that it can be hotbed for lively discussion. Particularly in the last few weeks it seems that conversations have become more heated. More volatile. More opinionated. More political. More personal. Less kind. Less loving. Less tolerant. More closed-minded. Less open-minded. More judgmental. Less gracious.
Since entering the social media space, I’ve often watched how my words and the words of others have impacted people as the comment thread blows up like a nuclear bomb. Like most things, I’ve done it wrong more than once; and over the years, I’ve learned a few things. Most of the lessons were learned the hard way. As a result, I am much more thoughtful when it comes to what I say (or don’t say) on social media. Before posting my latest rant (and I have many), I ask myself a few questions.
Am I Being Social?
The word “social media” includes the word social for a reason. Mirriam Webster has defined the word “social” as “relating to or involving activities in which people spend time talking to each other or doing enjoyable things with each other.” Social media was designed as a virtual way for us to stay connected and talk to each other. Unfortunately, what I often see is people talking “at” each other. Perhaps at the root of our dilemma is the reality that we have forgotten how to be social. Being social means that I care more about what others have to say that what I have to say. Growing up in a small farming community, I learned that the term social inferred that people were friendly. They were kind. They were gracious. Are we on social media to promote our beliefs and agendas or are we truly attempting to connect with one another and have meaningful dialog in a friendly, kind, and gracious manner?
Will This Unite Us or Divide Us?
This is the primary filter I use when considering if I should post something or not. I recently wrote something that is still sitting in my drafts folder. I’ve read it, re-read it, edited, and read it again . . . probably over 30 times. Personally, it’s one of my favorite blogs articles — probably because I share my own personal experience as a parent. However, the question I keep asking is, “will this unite us or divide us?” At the end of the day, I may never post it. Whether I post it or not isn’t probably that important. What is important is that I am thoughtful about my words and how it may be received by others. If the content causes more damage than good, I choose to refrain from sharing it. Are we more concerned about getting our point of view across or are we more concerned about the reader on the other end?
Who Is My Audience?
My friends on social media include former congregants from a church in Indiana where I pastored, a lot of family members, church leaders that I coached over the last four years, members of my New Life Church family, and former students of mine when I was a high school teacher. All these audiences are vastly different. When I am writing anything, whether serious or lighthearted, I think of specific individuals that follow me. How will this impact them? Will it encourage them or discourage them? Will they feel challenged or condemned? Will it bring life or death? After they have they read it, will they hit the “unfriend” or “unfollow” button? I don’t ask this because I fear rejection; I ask this because my fear is that I may say something for my own satisfaction, and as a result, sacrifice the impact I have on that person. Will I temper my own personal passions to consider how I may affect others?
Some may view this entire approach as compromise. I view it as honor. I choose to honor the person more than I honor the belief that I’m “right.” If I refuse to honor those over whom I may have influence, I’ll never have an opportunity to share what I truly believe.
In the Bible, Paul said it this way in when writing to the Corinthians.
Even though I am free of the demands and expectations of everyone, I have voluntarily become a servant to any and all in order to reach a wide range of people: religious, nonreligious, meticulous moralists, loose-living immoralists, the defeated, the demoralized—whoever. I didn’t take on their way of life. I kept my bearings in Christ—but I entered their world and tried to experience things from their point of view. I’ve become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempts to lead those I meet into a God-saved life. I did all this because of the Message. I didn’t just want to talk about it; I wanted to be in on it! (The Message Bible, 1 Corinthians 9:19-23)
My hope is that all of us will think just a bit more before we update our Facebook status, post that tweet, or gram that nasty meme. As my pastor writes in his new book . . . Speak Life.
