{"id":119250,"date":"2022-02-04T22:51:04","date_gmt":"2022-02-05T05:51:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/?p=119250"},"modified":"2022-02-05T14:49:26","modified_gmt":"2022-02-05T21:49:26","slug":"if-you-cant-be-honest-are-you-really-loyal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/if-you-cant-be-honest-are-you-really-loyal\/","title":{"rendered":"If You Can\u2019t Be Honest, Are You Really Loyal?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-gallery has-nested-images columns-default is-cropped wp-block-gallery-1 is-layout-flex wp-block-gallery-is-layout-flex\">\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full is-style-default\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"793\" height=\"387\" data-attachment-id=\"119257\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/if-you-cant-be-honest-are-you-really-loyal\/attachment\/1644040649581\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/1644040649581.jpeg?fit=793%2C387&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"793,387\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"1644040649581\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/1644040649581.jpeg?fit=793%2C387&amp;ssl=1\" loading=\"lazy\" data-id=\"119257\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/1644040649581.jpeg?resize=793%2C387&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-119257\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/1644040649581.jpeg?w=793&amp;ssl=1 793w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/1644040649581.jpeg?resize=650%2C317&amp;ssl=1 650w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/1644040649581.jpeg?resize=768%2C375&amp;ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 793px) 100vw, 793px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Adam Grant said in a recent post, \u201cIn toxic relationships, you're forced to choose between honesty and loyalty. You bite your tongue to protect their ego. In healthy relationships, honesty is an expression of loyalty. You speak your mind to help them grow. When you have real trust and respect, candor shows care.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I have to be honest. I spent a long time in some toxic relationships. Unfortunately, those toxic relationships were in the church. Leaders defined \u201cloyalty\u201d as agreement without opposition. If you opposed any ideas from the leader, you were deemed as undermining, rebellious, and\/or disloyal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Since that time, I have a different view. Loyalty isn\u2019t based upon what is \u201cbest for me\u201d but what\u2019s \u201cbest for us.\u201d And what\u2019s best for us is honesty. Without honesty (and vulnerability) there is no real relationship. Without the ability to be truly honest, there is only a facade ... a performance. Patrick Lencioni says in The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, trust is the foundation of highly functioning teams. Without trust, you have no foundation. And if you can\u2019t be honest and give feedback in a relationship without fear or repercussion, there is no trust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I am reminding myself of this today ... if I consider myself loyal, I MUST be willing to be honest ... even if that honesty is a threat to the relationship. But the truth is this .. if your relationships can\u2019t handle honestly, they are already in jeopardy. So here\u2019s to loyalty ... and more honest conversations.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Adam Grant said in a recent post, \u201cIn toxic relationships, you&#8217;re forced to choose between honesty and loyalty. You bite your tongue to protect their ego. In healthy relationships, honesty is an expression of loyalty. You speak your mind to help them grow. When you have real trust and respect, candor shows care.\u201d I have [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":119264,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[31],"tags":[51,132,58,131,130,55],"class_list":["post-119250","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-main","tag-culture","tag-honesty","tag-leadership","tag-loyalty","tag-toxicity","tag-trust"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/pexels-photo-127420.jpeg?fit=1880%2C1253&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pzg9k-v1o","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":210391,"url":"https:\/\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/the-ripple-effect-of-contagious-positivity-in-teams\/","url_meta":{"origin":119250,"position":0},"title":"The Ripple Effect of Contagious Positivity in Teams","author":"Jon Plotner","date":"March 24, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"Some people possess a remarkable ability to emanate contagious positivity, uplifting their environment even amidst adversity. These 'positive energizers' enhance team dynamics with virtues like kindness and gratitude. Conversely, 'de-energizers' drain energy and morale. 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I try to teach others that mistake making is the only way we truly learn. Yet, I still hate making mistakes. Worse yet, I hate to admit them. But I have tried to remind myself how\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Main&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Main","link":"https:\/\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/category\/main\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"worried young woman covering face with hand","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/pexels-photo-6382634.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/pexels-photo-6382634.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/pexels-photo-6382634.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/pexels-photo-6382634.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/pexels-photo-6382634.jpeg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":210565,"url":"https:\/\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/transforming-teams-essential-culture-rebuilding-strategies\/","url_meta":{"origin":119250,"position":2},"title":"Transforming Teams: Essential Culture Rebuilding Strategies","author":"Jon Plotner","date":"September 11, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 Taking over a new team is never easy, especially when the culture is in shambles. Whether it\u2019s due to previous leadership, internal conflicts, or external pressures, repairing a broken culture requires intention, patience, and perseverance. Over the years, I\u2019ve experienced firsthand what it\u2019s like to walk into a team\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Main&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Main","link":"https:\/\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/category\/main\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/go-a-little-less-formal.png?fit=1024%2C768&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/go-a-little-less-formal.png?fit=1024%2C768&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/go-a-little-less-formal.png?fit=1024%2C768&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/go-a-little-less-formal.png?fit=1024%2C768&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":212418,"url":"https:\/\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/the-system-vs-your-soul-how-senior-leaders-reframe-criticism\/","url_meta":{"origin":119250,"position":3},"title":"The System vs. Your Soul: How Senior Leaders Reframe Criticism","author":"Jon Plotner","date":"March 14, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"High-capacity, high-care leaders often risk tying their identity too closely to outcomes and other people's reactions. When ownership increases, so does emotional exposure, causing feedback to land on your identity instead of just your role. This post shares a framework to build durable internal boundaries, allowing you to keep listening\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Main&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Main","link":"https:\/\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/category\/main\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"train, mountains, fields, rice fields, rice plantation, rice farm, rice paddies, railway, railroad, railway system, passenger train, transport, rural, countryside, landscape, nature","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/5665066.webp?fit=1200%2C797&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/5665066.webp?fit=1200%2C797&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/5665066.webp?fit=1200%2C797&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/5665066.webp?fit=1200%2C797&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/5665066.webp?fit=1200%2C797&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2035,"url":"https:\/\/jonplotner.com\/v1\/when-youre-told-you-suck-with-a-smile\/","url_meta":{"origin":119250,"position":4},"title":"When you\u2019re told \u201cyou suck\u201d &#8230; with a smile","author":"Jon Plotner","date":"November 8, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Working in the customer service industry is one of the most challenging and most rewarding experiences. 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